It was 1:35 am, but sleep had lost it's way back home. I held her in my arms. I knew this was it. Her time was up. Her eyes wanted me to leave, so I didn't have to go through the pain of losing her. I begged myself to stay. I promised I would go through this despite the anguish and agony. I didn't want to lose her; but neither did I want to lose as much as a second to the regret of not spending time with my beloved. I kissed her. She wanted me to love again. She wanted me to fill this void with someone else; which I deemed a fallacy by all means; for I knew that could never happen. Emotional precipitations abound, as she lay motionless; her life finally slipped away. Now to find a way to expedite the process of moving on. What I had; what I lost was someone to whom love was not a part of life, but life itself.
Its been 4 years. There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of her. As much as I hate to admit this, but yes.. I have cried myself to sleep at times. I made credible attempts to forget our times together, but unbeknownst to myself, I had her in my mind. Are memories supposed to hurt or heal wounds? And finally, I saw someone like her. The resemblance was striking! Same hair and all. Irate; I wanted to look away. It began to hurt like it did that night. I didn't want to breathe for the fear of choking on her demise all over again. Scars are as important as healed wounds, remember? That's what she taught me. Why should I stand in my own way? I didn't want to disobey her anymore. Her epiphany was my drop of water; one that every dormant seed needs to break it's shackles of brown and germinate into a beautiful green. I smiled.
For the first time since her dying eyes asked me to move on, I had thoughts about making peace with impending change; with myself. My instincts told me she was watching, just like she patiently has for years; lying in wait to see me love again. I asked myself: Was she the one? Have I moved on? Have I learnt to love again? And then, she gave me a sign that was a big yes to all my questions; she wagged her tail...
Its been 4 years. There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of her. As much as I hate to admit this, but yes.. I have cried myself to sleep at times. I made credible attempts to forget our times together, but unbeknownst to myself, I had her in my mind. Are memories supposed to hurt or heal wounds? And finally, I saw someone like her. The resemblance was striking! Same hair and all. Irate; I wanted to look away. It began to hurt like it did that night. I didn't want to breathe for the fear of choking on her demise all over again. Scars are as important as healed wounds, remember? That's what she taught me. Why should I stand in my own way? I didn't want to disobey her anymore. Her epiphany was my drop of water; one that every dormant seed needs to break it's shackles of brown and germinate into a beautiful green. I smiled.
For the first time since her dying eyes asked me to move on, I had thoughts about making peace with impending change; with myself. My instincts told me she was watching, just like she patiently has for years; lying in wait to see me love again. I asked myself: Was she the one? Have I moved on? Have I learnt to love again? And then, she gave me a sign that was a big yes to all my questions; she wagged her tail...
Is this really about a cat? Or a dog or some other pet of yours? Nevertheless I loved it.
ReplyDeleteIs this really about a cat? Or a dog or some other pet of yours? Nevertheless I loved it.
ReplyDelete